turning 40

So....anyone want to tell me how fair it is to plan and pay for a vacation to sunny Southern Ca and to get there and the weather is crappy? REally? How exactly does that work? And to top it all off? Yea...the weather here was great! Keegan has a great tan after this weekend? OY!

We headed down to Ca for my 40th bday. I have issues with birthdays that end in 0. I have kinda been a mess for the last few months. I know that I am not old, but........40 kinda sounds old. So i wanted to be go to Ca and sit on the beach, drinking whatever, reading a book and being in charge of nothing. Nope! Was not to be! The weather never hit over 70. which would have been ok if it had just been sunny, but nope! It was cold and cloudy and windy. Ugh!

I changed my tactic when it came to Mother's Day. I have always wanted it to be just about me. All about me. I am not in charge. Go ask your dad. Why can't you just do this for me? This year? I did for everyone else. There was no breakfast in bed, we had to sit through soccer tryouts, i did the dishes at grandma's. But you know what? It was great! I changed my attitude and it all became about me. About me choosing to be happy instead of crabby. So i thought that I would apply the same attitude towards my bday. Don't get me wrong. it was still my day. I still requested crab for dinner (HUGE KING CRAB legs for dinner! YUM!). We wandered the beach. We had a couples massage in the morning. We spent the day with my sister, Megan and our friend Jen. We went for a drive along the coast. There were no presents. (Jeff gave me an IPod touch before we left as he was afraid of going thru security with it, or it being stolen out of our suitcase.) There was no fanfare. I always expect too much, so having a day where I was expecting nothing, gave me so much more.

I am trying that. I am trying to expect nothing from anyone else but to expect more from myself. Isn't it better to make someone else smile than to expect them to make me smile?