I wondered what to do with my days

When school started I wondered what I would do with my days. Apparently it is to spend them at school. I am lucky enough to have 2 hours a day paid. Now it seems as though I am always there. laundry? yeah right. dishes? yeah, my mom did them for me last night (for which I am extremely grateful). Today was picture day, tomorrow is hearing tests, Thursday is my volunteer day and Friday is the walk-a-thon. I am still waiting for the days of "what do I do now?" Besides mom just taught me to start quilting....just what i need another hobby...Boy! Am I excited! Can't wait to put this first one altogether.

School

I didn't get the secretary job. You know what? That's ok. I think it would be difficult to go from at home to all day at work. Just want to ease into this. That said. I am the new school crossing guard. It's just a step in the door. I really want to be able to work at school and this is the way to start.

I drop off Jack in the morning with a friend and high-tail it over to school. Then I walk down the block and wait. There is one adorable little kindergartener who chats with me every morning. If her mom ever wants to give her up I would take her in a heartbeat.

I love seeing the kids every morning. I love the days that Jacks walks down the street and hangs out with me telling me about his day. Then we ride home together. I love that I can still be home when Keegan & Konley walk in the door and get them all homework-situated before my afternoon duty. I love that Ms. Barron walked in the other day and said, "hey, can you stay and do recess duty?". I was at school, hanging out with the kids, and got paid. I have been volunteering for 8 years, and I am so ready to still be there, still helping, and getting paid for it!

It's all about baby-steps. There is rumors of someone leaving and that I could apply for her spot. Just biding my time. Taking them baby-steps. Waiting for it to be my turn.

this day

This day has completely snuck up on me. My baby? My littlest? My one who has never let go of my heart? He went off to 1st grade today. All day. The first day of the next 12+ years of school. I have had a"baby" at home for the last 13 years. Jack was born just weeks before Konley started kindergarten. I didn't have time to lament the boys being gone for the day, I had one more at home.

Now I don't. Now I have 3 in school all day. It conjures heart ache.

I know he will love it. I know I will find things to do with myself during the day. (Goodwill and trips to the dump rank high on the list.) I know I will get over it. But, boy oh boy!

He's not really gone cuz I volunteer at his school all of the time, but it's just not the same. I miss my little boy.