wow! another broken leg

So it's been 16 years and now I have another broken leg. I didn't have to have surgery which is a good thing, but.... It's alot different 40 vs 24.

40? 24?
3 kids 0 kids
tri-level house stayed at my parents or my apartment: no stairs
husband boyfriend (who has become my husband)
work at school desk job with a computer
laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc who cared if my apartment was messy?
40 year old bones 24 year old healthy bones

Thank God I have so many wonderful people in my life. Mom just finished all our laundry & Gram Vicky made us dinner last night.

Six weeks could be a long time.
Chell
ps of course it had to happen the day before the seasons first storm!

too long

So it's been entirely too long. I am finding that there are days that I don't have check my email. Not really a good thing, just can't muster up the care to move over to my computer. This working thing? huh. no really sure about it.

The last 2 weeks I have been EXHAUSTED. Week before last the boys had half days. But I still have to go back and doing crossing guard, and the PTA put on a book fair. Since I am pta president I was there nearly every day until 4, leaving the three boys at home. Something that I hate to do for more than a day. Let alone 5 days.

This week? Normal days, but I was the substitute in the cafeteria. No problem, right? uhhhhh, no. not in the slightest. It is amazing how many people do not enforce manners in their houses. I can tell you what kids had for lunch when they talk. They don't grab napkins, they spill chocolate milk and it goes for 5 feet! (Don't even know how that works!) They talk, and they talk loudly. THey gave me a microphone. It helps cuz otherwise I sound like the wicked witch of the west trying to talk over them.

It was very nice getting my first paycheck last week. I haven't had a real, more than just spending money paycheck in 13 years. I could get used to this. Just means that I have to get used to a few other changes in my life too. We'll see how that goes.

weird thing. so last year our (then) principal decided that there was not enough money in the budget for the 5th graders to go to overnight camp. They went for the day, coming back at 9 pm and still had a great time, but it just wasn't the same.

In comes new principal...who says sure, no problem. Konley missed out on overnight last year. In comes 5th grade teacher.....so, Mrs Roberts can you come and chaperone camp for us this year? I know that you don't have a 5th grader but.....I need some help. ..... Kinda funny. Konley didn't make it to overnight camp, but I can. Hmmmm.

I am going to go up just for the day. Leave after the male teachers show up for camp fire to stay the night. Does seem funny tho.

I wondered what to do with my days

When school started I wondered what I would do with my days. Apparently it is to spend them at school. I am lucky enough to have 2 hours a day paid. Now it seems as though I am always there. laundry? yeah right. dishes? yeah, my mom did them for me last night (for which I am extremely grateful). Today was picture day, tomorrow is hearing tests, Thursday is my volunteer day and Friday is the walk-a-thon. I am still waiting for the days of "what do I do now?" Besides mom just taught me to start quilting....just what i need another hobby...Boy! Am I excited! Can't wait to put this first one altogether.

School

I didn't get the secretary job. You know what? That's ok. I think it would be difficult to go from at home to all day at work. Just want to ease into this. That said. I am the new school crossing guard. It's just a step in the door. I really want to be able to work at school and this is the way to start.

I drop off Jack in the morning with a friend and high-tail it over to school. Then I walk down the block and wait. There is one adorable little kindergartener who chats with me every morning. If her mom ever wants to give her up I would take her in a heartbeat.

I love seeing the kids every morning. I love the days that Jacks walks down the street and hangs out with me telling me about his day. Then we ride home together. I love that I can still be home when Keegan & Konley walk in the door and get them all homework-situated before my afternoon duty. I love that Ms. Barron walked in the other day and said, "hey, can you stay and do recess duty?". I was at school, hanging out with the kids, and got paid. I have been volunteering for 8 years, and I am so ready to still be there, still helping, and getting paid for it!

It's all about baby-steps. There is rumors of someone leaving and that I could apply for her spot. Just biding my time. Taking them baby-steps. Waiting for it to be my turn.

this day

This day has completely snuck up on me. My baby? My littlest? My one who has never let go of my heart? He went off to 1st grade today. All day. The first day of the next 12+ years of school. I have had a"baby" at home for the last 13 years. Jack was born just weeks before Konley started kindergarten. I didn't have time to lament the boys being gone for the day, I had one more at home.

Now I don't. Now I have 3 in school all day. It conjures heart ache.

I know he will love it. I know I will find things to do with myself during the day. (Goodwill and trips to the dump rank high on the list.) I know I will get over it. But, boy oh boy!

He's not really gone cuz I volunteer at his school all of the time, but it's just not the same. I miss my little boy.

School starts

how strange this year is beginning.

It is raining and it is August.

You can already feel fall in the air, but it feels like summer never actually started.

I feel as if I spent the whole summer planning and throwing birthday parties. It is getting a bit much. Overwhelming really.

so school starts next week. I have 2 in middle school and now Jack is all day. I truly figured that I would have some kind of job to fill those 5 days a week, 6 hours a day. I don't. And the days are looming.

I know that i will volunteer. I know that i will find things to fill my days. But today? it feels overwhelming. That's alot of time to kill/fill. Thirteen years ago I quit my job and became a stay-at-home-mom. (Well it took another 20 days to actually be the mom, but you know what i mean.) A whole new phase is starting and I don't really know how I feel about it.

I know that i will figure it out. I know that I will fill my days. But today? Today I will just wonder and hope and pray that I will know what to do with my days come next Wednesday. I think I will start with getting Jack to his brand new classroom and then heading out for first day of school breakfast as has been the custom for 8 years. After that? who knows?